I thought it was coming. I could feel it and it happened. That’s right friends, I’ve had my first post-visa-approved meltdown.

A couple of hours after the blog went live, I’d sent an email to my subscribers, was hanging out on Twitter and Facebook, approving comments and finally, after 5 months of intense work and feeling like I was going at 300km/h the entire time, I sat down on the couch and let out a sigh.

Then the phone rang – it was my husband saying our visas have been approved! Start packing we go in 2 weeks! Oh my god I thought, they’ve been approved 6 weeks earlier than I’d prepared myself for.

I literally haven’t had the mind space to start thinking of moving to London at all. Occasionally the thought would pop into my head and I’d think – wow, crazy – then I’d be on to the next thing on my to do list.

Instead of the 6 weeks I thought I’d have to process the fact my business had relaunched and start preparing for a new life, I had 5 minutes. As you can imagine, it was not going to end well.

I thought about the things I had wanted to do over that time. I was going to have to fit them all into the next 2 weeks.

One of those things was spending time at the family business finishing off work that I’d put on hold while working on my blog and the workshops.

Fast forward to yesterday.

When I walked in the door of the family biz, my sister-in-law was there with my two baby nephews. I told her our news and she said, ‘I don’t think we’re ready to say goodbye yet.’ Cue – first set of tears. Next, we’re up in the boardroom going through the details of a major new website they want me to build. Brother says – we need it by next month. Cue – second set of tears then some heated discussion and a new deadline date. Dad says – maybe you should take the afternoon off. I agree.

I feel like I’m in a whirlwind and need some space to process everything.

I want to get excited about this new stage but all I’m feeling is overwhelm. I go to a bookstore and buy this book. It’s about an Australian woman who moves to Paris with her husband and two children. I drive down to the bay and read a few pages – it’s inspiring me and I feel a twinkle of excitement.

I get a call from my Mum, the diagnosis of the family cat is bad. She’s only got a couple of weeks. Devastated. Cue – set of tears number 3.

I feel like running away. I settle for a night at my parents – away from our apartment where I’ve spent the previous 5 months stressed and working. My Grandma flew in yesterday – I drive down to my parents, walk in the door – see the cat, see Grandma and, you guessed it – have a cry for the 4th time that day.

We spend the night talking about everything that’s going on and what’s coming up. I woke up this morning feeling peaceful and excited. I’m ready for this now. Bring it on.

Image credit: Crafterall